When I bleed, I don’t bleed red. I bleed black-and-gold.

I am a die-hard Ti-Cats fan from my childhood. Even though I now live up the QEW in Hogtown, my heart still belongs to the boys of TigerTown. If I spot a fellow Ti-Cat fan, all I have to say is, “Oskee-wee-wee!” and in return I’ll surely get, “Oskee-wa-wa!” We’ll exchange a wave, and knowing smiles, firm in the belief that, against all odds, this will be our year!

Some of us who find ourselves waving the flag for a more theologically substantial representation of our Christian faith in The United Church of Canada are wondering if we can possibly agree on what our team colours are, or what our rallying cry will be, or even what our team name will be.

Cruxifusion suggests “Conservationist.” That’s not bad, but it’s a bit functional, kind of like calling God “Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer” all the time: not so much heretical as boring. But what are the options?

I like “orthodox,” but that’s been co-opted by eastern wings of the church and, more recently, by neo-orthodoxy and radical orthodoxy. I don’t mind too much when people call me “conservative,” but they soon find I don’t always, as they say on CSI, fit the profile. And I guess I could say I’m “simply Christian,” since I rather like N.T. Wright’s book by that name, but it might sound a bit like one-upmanship, Corinthian-style–and that’s just rude.

So what to call myself? What to call ourselves?

I rather like “Classic Christian,” because I can recite the Apostles’ Creed or the Nicene Creed without blushing. And I know that progressive Christianity is every bit as big a mistake as New Coke.

I like “Contemporary Christian,” because that keeps people asking what on earth I mean by that. I hope it would mean more than the fact that I love to shop at IKEA, and know that you don’t use stain remover on a blog.

I think I like “Cosmopolitan Christian” most of all, because I feel I can authentically pray with my Roman Catholic friends as easily as my evangelical Protestant cousins. And I’m not afraid of real inter-religious dialogue, either. You can’t be “cosmopolitan” if your views are too narrow, and you can’t genuinely call yourself “Christian” if you’ve got nothing more to share than “the Gospel according to Oprah.”

Yeah. “David Bruce, Cosmopolitan Christian.” That’ll do for now. I think I’ll go re-design my business card.

What will be on yours?

DAB